self-love is a top priority if you want to heal

these posts are dedicated to my sister--lola! let's just say she's saved me more than she knows... although she is my younger sister and I always thought my job was to protect her..the roles have reversed. my sister is a therapist for teens. so our dialogue had to do with the importance of therapy. therapy as an act that truly allows you to be vulnerable (whether you like it or not) but helps you focus on yourself. something that her and I have had quite a bit of trouble doing...

"We must break the cycle of putting others first. And teach our kids (who are inheriting our baggage) that it's okay to put yourself first. It's important for us to keep a balance between our needs and the needs of others.In doing this we promote
self love."


(i have the most amazing conversations with my baby sis. if you ask me our email dialogue can be turned into book chapters. she totally inspires me literally each and every day. here is my response. our discussion: practicing a loving ethic).

since my therapist shared with me that (she was hesitant to diagnose me as that is not her approach, which i deeply respect) I exhibit patterns of someone who suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder also known as PTSD I began my own research and have been so deep in retrospection and self-reflection. Through this research, I learned that she was accurate. I cried because it made sense. I cried because I know NOW that I want to take better care of myself in every sense of the word: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

so its so important that you do the same. we are taught as women of color to put others first. to find pleasure in taking care of everyone else. i get caught up sometimes but then i remind myself that it is okay to please myself. take care of me.

its crazy how it is the minute you put a name to something that you see, understand, and accept that things can be DIFFERENT. You CAN change. I know NOW I can treat PTSD. it does get hard but i can BEAT this.

i also feel shame surrounding my mental health as well as being open about being sexually abused. its b/c i feel like it implicates my family. and unfortunately, it does. but no one is at fault. it happens to so many people. everyday. and i am tired of remaining silent. there is a lot of power in using your voice. speaking truthfully. your truth allows my truth allows their truths allows our truths to be celebrated, recognized, and powerful.

i heart audre lorde.
i heart lola.
i heart all courageous warriors who speak truth to power.